When Santa's Reindeer Work Out
You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen … but did you know they’re frequently visiting the North Pole’s Recreation and Wellness Center?
After all, they have to be in shape to pull Santa’s sleigh and compete in those ever-popular Reindeer Games. If you’re curious what a holly jolly workout looks like, you’re in the right place.
No surprise to anyone, Dasher is a sprinter. He frequents the track, running along the baselines at speeds fast enough to start up Santa’s sleigh single-hoovedly. He’s the type who stops for no one — not even Mrs. Claus — in an attempt to hit maximum speed. If you struggle with spatial awareness, then be careful. Cross his path and expect to be trampled. You better watch out; I’m telling you why.
Dancer is easily bored by normal exercise routines, so she turns them into jam sessions. Her music blares through her antler buds and everyone takes notice. All the while, she’s dancin’ and prancin’ through her workout as if she were in Jingle Bell Square.
Prancer never comes to the gym with a plan. She frolics around, doing whatever she feels like. Forget leg day (front or back) — she’ll bounce from exercise to exercise without any rhyme or reason.
Vixen is looking to attract a buck, and it’s evident to all, especially the other females. She wears enough makeup for a night out in the North Pole, and her gym attire is "barely there."
As coach and trainer for potential members of Santa’s team, Comet loves some good competition. He’s usually on the courts, playing whatever reindeer game he can get his hooves on.
As his name suggests, Cupid is a romantic. He’ll spend a good portion of his time flirting with any doe he runs into as he waits underneath the mistletoe. On the off chance he actually begins exercising, he’s flexing and checking himself out in the mirror, in an effort to attract female attention.
Donnor considers himself the macho deer and prides himself for pulling the most weight both on the sleigh and in the gym. He’s the type to drop his weights unnecessarily (and dramatically) with a boom louder than Santa’s "Ho! Ho! Ho!." Do you hear what I hear? Oh, it’s just Donnor working out at the gym.
Blitzen is on the CrossFit kick. Pulling a sleigh with an overweight man and all the worlds’ gifts is a full-body job, so he knew he needed a full-body workout.
Little known fact: the other reindeer still don’t let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games. They’re past any prejudices, but his nose is literally blinding. It’s a safety hazard. In order to get his workout in, he has to come to the gym at odd hours, all because of that shiny nose. But because he lights up when he sees his fellow gym members, he was hired to work as a part-time greeter.
Olive, the Other Reindeer
Olive is easily forgotten, and he’s okay with that. He’s shy in general and even more so about working out. He’s not the most athletic deer, and he’s often embarrassed about his poor form. Still, he dreams about getting to fly with the others, so he works out in obscure areas, hoping not to be seen.
Be well, Auburn.
Photography: Cat S.